Suggestions
by emm297
Summary: So, with the Soul Society Arc just over, Yamamoto decides to welcome suggestions from the Taichos and Fukitaichos of SS. How will this meeting turn out? Rated T just in case.


A/N: Hi there people! This is my first fanfiction that i am posting on and i hope u guys like it! And, yah i know, Unohana-taicho may be a little OOC here, and other characters too. Anyway, hope you guys like it!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Bleach, Harry potter, Barney, Sesame Street, the alphabet or Titanic.

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"TAICHO!" Matsumoto yelled, banging her fists on the table before her and causing her young captain's paperwork to fly everywhere.

"Matsumoto…" the silver-haired captain growled, picking up his papers.

He sighed. 3 days ago, 3 captains, Aizen, Tousen and Gin had run away to who-knows-where after taking the who-knows-what form Kuchiki Rukia's body. Every squad was busy and everything, especially the 4th squad. Apparently they had their hands full of casualties and shinigami who thought running into a wall to avoid battle was a smart idea.

"TAICHO! I'm done with my PAPERWORK!!" Matsumoto sang, emphasizing the last word.

At that, the little taicho froze. Matsumoto finished her paperwork?! He knew very well that unless hell had frozen over, OR unless Aizen had suddenly came back and shouted "APRIL FOOLS'!", she would never have touched that pile of paper on her desk.

"SEE?" Matsumoto shoved a stack of papers to him. "SIGN IT, QUICK! So I can hand it in!" Matsumoto then placed a pen in front of him.

"I don't know Matsumoto… I need to see what crap you wrote."

"NONO, I DIDN'T WRITE CRAP! JUST SIGN IT QUICK. Byakuya-taicho needs it." She said, giving her puppy-face-with-two-big-sparkling-eyes look. Muttering a "damn you puppy-face" under his breath, Hitsugaya signed it.

"ALL TAICHOS AND FUKU-TAICHOS WHO WANT TO COME ARE TO REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO YAMAMOTO SOU-TAICHO", a hell butterfly flew in and reported.

"Oooh…Lets go!" Matsumoto quickly grabbed her paperwork and her taicho and rushed out. On her way, she met Renji, and handed the stack of paper to him. "You know what to do," she said.

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In the reporting area…

"As you know, 3 of our captains have betrayed us. All squads have been under a whole lot of pressure lately and are busy trying to get their squad members to get back with doing their work. Therefore, I have decided, being the most generous old man there is in Seireitei, have decided to whole this meeting to welcome suggestions from all of you." Yamamoto said.

"He's the ONLY old man in Seireitei." Someone muttered, which caused a flying slipper to hit the guy on his head, and Unohana exclaiming, "We really don't need any more casualties..."

"Now, as I was saying. Anyone wants to start?" Yamamoto said.

Matsumoto's hand shot up.

"Sir, I feel that drinking sake should be made a law here, so I can get my precious taicho to become sober too!!"

This was seconded by Kira, Renji and Shuuhei, who proudly exclaimed "WE LOVE SAKE!" at the end of Matsumoto's little suggestion.

"Yes, well… I suppose we could have a little extra punch in our lives… I'll take that into consideration." The old man said. "Next!"

"Sir, I feel that we should have a 'No running into walls at all times' rule. That would make me and Isane's life a WHOLE lot more easier." Unohana piped.

"Or, we could ban walls entirely!" Isane said.

"Ok. I'll take that into consideration as well. Anyway Unohana, how's the situation there in your squad quarters?"

"Bad sir. A few guys who slammed their head on the southern wall the other day suffered from concussion, and when they woke up they thought they were Hitsugaya taicho's Hyōrinmaru and started jumping about and a few of them started singing the Barney theme song in desperation. Also, the few guys who slammed into the north-west wall woke up and kept humming the Sesame Street theme song and reciting the alphabet 10 times. A guy also tried to jump out the window while saying 'You jump, I jump', and he jumped out of the window and thankfully landed on a pile of mud, which cushioned the impact."

"Oh I see. Wait, why were all the people guys?" Yamamoto asked, scratching his head.

"Because sir, girls are not stupid. They know that slamming into a wall will do them more harm than good. Also, girls are more sensible when it comes to war. Guys just say 'Oh look a fight!' , join in and the next thing you know, they're getting treated in the 4th squad quarters, with bandages everywhere that makes them look like a mummy. And may I add, Yumichika came in the other day and said 'So not fashionable' and walked out. If she can tell that something looks awful, then it really is awful. Look at his eyelashes!" Unohana finished.

"AND an eyesore to look at everyday. Now I never want to go to Egypt!" Isane concluded dramatically.

"Ok thank you Unohana. Anyone else want to give suggestions?"

"OLD MAN! I want to say something! My turn!"Yachiru yelled.

"I WANT A PLAY AREA! WITH CANDY AND EVERYTHING!" she bellowed.

"Ok, we'll think about that…" Yamamoto said.

"Oh and old man, we should probably give Ken-chan a street directory! He always gets lost!" Yachiru squeaked.

"Only because you make me follow idiotic things like CHOO CHOO TRAINS!" Kenpachi bellowed.

"Ooh Ken-chan's upset! Tuberculosis guy! Give him candy! It works for me, it should for him!" Yachiru said happily.

Ukitake remained silent, with a WTH face on him, which only caused him to cough blood.

"SILENCE, ORDER PEOPLE ORDER!" Yamamoto shouted.

"I want rice balls!" someone said.

"I want sushi!" Renji said.

"What's sushi?" Kira asked.

"You haven't tried SUSHI? OH YOU POOR SAD DEPRIVED CHILD!" Renji said. "After this we shall go eat sushi! Using the new money that we got from…" at the last point he whispered into Kira's ears and the two were seen laughing so hard that their faces almost dropped.

"SILENCE!" Yamamoto shouted again.

"Sir, I would like to propose that…" Byakuya started to say.

"OOH! BYA BYA GONNA PROPOSE!" Yachiru squealed in delight and did the chicken dance.

"No, Yachiru, he was not going to marry someone. No one would want to marry him anyway…" All of a sudden Ichigo popped up, with Rukia beside him.

"ICHIGO! How could you say that of Nii-sama?!" Rukia shouted.

"Kuchiki, continue with what you wanted to say please." Yamamoto said.

"Yes sir. I was going to ask if you could install a candy machine for Yachiru-chan over here, but I think I rather much prefer we lock her up in a candy cone cage instead. That way, she won't bother me with stupid remarks that make my adopted sister's friend say stupid things about his friend's brother-in-law!" Byakuya said.

"Hey, Byakuya, what's your problem?!" Ichigo said.

"OOH… Strawberry head is going to fight with Bya Bya!" Yachiru chirped.

"FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!" chanting could be heard in the room.

"BANKAI!" Ichigo shouted, whilst Byakuya shouted "BANKAI, SENBONZAKURA KAGEYOSHI!"

(A FEW SCATTERED CHERRY BLOSSEM PETALS AND GETSUGA TENSHOUS LATER…)

"Ken-chan, I'm bored! I WANNA READ A STORYBOOK CALLED HARRY POTTER! I WANNA READ! I WANNA READ!" Yachiru said.

"OKOK, we'll steal it from strawberry head later!!" Kenpachi said impatiently.

"STOP! MEETING DISMISSED FOR NOW. WE SHALL LOOK INTO ALL SUGGESTIONS AND TAKE FURTHER ACTION." Yamamoto said sternly.

Unfortunately, Byakuya and Ichigo were still having their battle and did not hear the old man speak, until Unohana yelled "STOP IT, MY SQUAD DOES NOT HAVE TIME TO HEAL PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO ARE NOT SERIOUS CASES, so stop fighting before you need medical attention!"

"Unohana taicho, what is considered serious cases?" Rukia asked, her eyes never leaving the battle between Ichigo and Byakuya.

"Well, if you have slammed into a wall during the past 3 days, started singing the Barney theme song, Sesame Street song or Titanic pickup line, you will be classified as highly dangerous and requires immediate medical attention. Or, if you have recently found yourself being tied up like a mummy you can also request for treatment. Otherwise, the 4th squad will have no time to cure you." Unohana said.

"Oh I see. So if we're bored and want medical attention for fun all we have to do is sing the Barney theme song and wrap ourselves in toilet roll?" Rukia said.

"Yup, now I have to go, Isane is calling. Bye."

(RUKIA THEN BROKE UP THE FIGHT, SOMEHOW… AND EVERYONE LEFT.)

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"KIRA! LET'S GO EAT SUSHI AND DRINK SAKE!" Matsumoto and Renji yelled.

"Rangiku-san, where did you get the money? I thought we were down and out?" Kira asked.

"Well… I transferred my Taicho's money to my bank account (yea in my story they have banks) and well I'M RICH! You have no idea how much he has in his account." Matsumoto said.

"How?" Kira asked.

"Asked him to sign "Byakuya-taicho's paperwork documents". Fell for it straight away!" Matsumoto giggled.

"WHO CARES? LET'S JUST GO!" Renji yelled.

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Back at Hitsugaya's office…

Hitsugaya checked his bank account book. He had been to the bank and they said he did not have any money left. Then, he went to the bank again and asked to see his transfer documents, if any. The clerk pulled out a few sheets of paper, and he recognized them as Matsumoto's "paperwork".

"MATSUMOTO!!" the yell could be heard all over Seireitei, and Hinamori, who had coincidentally walked past, had to stop and ask "shiro-chan" if he had a fever.

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Back at 4th sqd headquarters… many people queued up outside and some sung Barney songs, Sesame Street songs and Titanic pick-up lines or came dressed for Halloween in mummy costumes.

"KUCHIKI RUKIA…." Unohana muttered, as she checked every patient. It seemed that Rukia had told everyone to disturb the 4th squad taicho by pretending to be ill by doing the above and ramming into a wall as well.

--END--


End file.
